From the Outside
by apiegohome
Summary: It's been three weeks since Roxas nearly killed them both in a car crash, and Sora is still refusing to even so much as look at him. His boyfriend is angry, and Roxas isn't sure what to do about it. So when Riku starts coming around more often then he'd like, Roxas soon realises that whatever he needs to do to fix his relationship with Sora, he better do it quick! Roxas x Sora


**A/N:** Just a quick oneshot that was bouncing around my brain. Angst + Fluff. Needed it out of my system. I adore Roxas x Sora. This is also loosely based off a movie...but I can't say the title or it'll spoil it! Enjoy :)

* * *

 **From the Outside**

Roxas lay in bed for a good portion of the night just staring at Sora's turned back.

Sora was so far over on his side of the bed that he was nearly falling off the mattress, his shoulders hunched and his arms curled around his own waist, hugging himself fiercely. Even as Roxas watched, Sora shivered and pulled his hands around himself tighter, warding off some imaginary chill. It certainly wasn't cold in their bedroom, what with it being a humid night in the middle of summer…so maybe he was unconsciously sensing Roxas' unwavering gaze. Admittedly, he had been staring for a while…

They'd spent a few nights like this now, and Roxas was pretty sure he knew the reason why. It was ridiculous – _well_ , Roxas thought it was, but they had barely spoken to each other in almost _three weeks_ now, ever since he'd written off his car…

Yes, he'd always been a bit of a careless driver, and yes, _really,_ he hadn't noticed that the main road had actually curved to the left instead of continuing on straight ahead, but they'd both made it out alive, hadn't they? Surely that should've stood for something?

According to Sora, it didn't. Not in the slightest.

 _Sure,_ Roxas thought with just a touch of bitterness, he could have ploughed right into that cement-mixer truck and killed them both instantly, _or_ he could take defensive action and swerve them into a nearby storm water drain instead, which is precisely what he ended up doing, but _no._ This was apparently, what he shouldn't have done. Sora hadn't outright accused him of nearly killing them both, but he didn't have to – his behaviour was saying it all.

Writing off the car had been an unavoidable, necessary evil; its airbags had deployed on impact and the whole front of the vehicle had been completely obliterated into a tangled, twisted mess of scrap metal and various oil-oozing engine components. Sora had gotten out of it unharmed, not so much as a single scratch on him, whereas Roxas had suffered a minor concussion and a broken arm. Yeah, he'd been the one driving, but he'd certainly paid for it and come out looking pretty worse for wear. So why then, was his boyfriend carrying on like this? Roxas had tried to broach the subject several times over the last couple of weeks, but Sora was just continuously brick-walling him at every turn. He never seemed to be able to say the right thing.

His eyes glued to the faint outline of Sora's jawline, Roxas shifted closer, only to have Sora almost immediately move further away from him. His eyes narrowed. He could probably keep pushing his luck, but where would that end up getting him? Was Sora so determined not to let him touch him that he would actually, _willingly_ shuffle right onto the floor?

Breathing out a huge sigh, Roxas rolled over and flumped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling in hopeless defeat. How much longer was this going to go on for? How much more could he take? Sora was always the ray of sunshine in their relationship, the wattage of his smile usually near blinding, but now all Roxas got was turned backs and this seemingly endless silent treatment. _God,_ he hoped he could somehow fix this…he didn't know how much more he could take.

-0-

When he woke up in the morning, the bed was rather predictably empty; Sora usually always the first to rise and make them both breakfast. Sora worked down at the local primary school as a teacher, whereas Roxas worked 'a dime a dozen' office job selling car insurance down in the centre of town. Roxas only started at ten in the morning, and although he generally finished later in the evening because of it, the later start was now actually a blessing in disguise. What with his car written off and yet to be replaced, he'd been forced to catch the bus into work every morning – because _heaven forbid_ Sora would ever offer to drive him, still in his perpetual funk.

Roxas wasn't sure what more he could do to get his typically cheerful lover to open up to him again and talk. Initially he'd tried making excuses about the whole thing, then he'd tried reasoning, that then regressed into _shouting_ (which usually gave way to begging fairly quickly), then back up to shouting for a little bit, and _then_ , as a last ditch resort – an unbelievably large amount of time was spent desperately pleading with the stubborn man, but ultimately, nothing was working. _Absolutely nothing._ Sora hardly ever got mad, and now that he was, he was completely and utterly determined to stay that way. Roxas' arm was aching in its cast. He felt like he was losing his mind.

He walked into the kitchen to find Sora sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal in front of him. He was already dressed for work, his pale blue dress shirt accented by a sky blue tie. It was one of Roxas' personal favourites; it always made Sora's brilliant eyes _pop_. He had his phone in one hand, with his thumb continuously scrolling; his other held his spoon limp within its grasp. Milk dripped from the end of the spoon and onto the lacquered wooden surface of the table, but Sora paid it no mind, his eyes transfixed to the screen of his phone. He didn't even spare a glance in Roxas' direction as he entered the room. Roxas looked skyward and prayed for strength. Time to put his plan into action…

He walked further into the room and steeled himself. He coughed awkwardly and made his way over to the refrigerator that was behind Sora.

"Morning, Sor." No response. Roxas forced himself not to sigh out loud. "Did you want me to cook you some eggs or something? I…I can make it quick, if you're in a hurry?"

Sora sighed explosively, but said nothing in answer. He plunked his spoon back down into his bowl and shoved his phone into the breast pocket of his work shirt. Roxas just stared at his back forlornly as Sora leaned an elbow against the table and scrubbed a weary hand through his hair.

Thinking he'd stared at Sora's back enough lately to last him a lifetime, Roxas moved around the table and sat across from him. Who was he kidding? Sora knew he always burnt eggs. For some mind-boggling reason he was pretty hopeless with breakfast goods altogether, hence the reason for his boyfriend being the main breakfast preparer of their regular morning routine.

Sora was staring blankly into his half eaten bowl of cereal when Roxas finally settled himself in his seat and looked over at him. There was a tense moment of silence before Roxas thought he'd just stop beating around the bush and get straight to the point.

"Sora, I know things have been…a little tense between us of late, and I know it's because of…of what I did, but how long are you going to keep shutting me out like this? It's…you're driving me crazy here – just give me _something, please…."_

Roxas' heart flew into his throat at the sight of tears suddenly welling in Sora's eyes.

 _Oh, shit…_

"Sora, babe…don't…" He reached a hand across the table, intent on brushing his fingers along Sora's cheek, but Sora was having none of it.

Wiping at his tears furiously, Sora stood abruptly, his chair scraping noisily across the linoleum floor. He grabbed up his now soggy bowl of cereal and dumped the entire contents into the sink. Roxas went to rise from his chair as well; feeling uncomfortably subdued by Sora's borderline aggressive reaction to him trying to touch him, and could only look on with dread as he stalked out of the kitchen and out of sight. It didn't take long for the sound of the electronic garage door being opened to reach his ears, and then the tell-tale sounds of Sora's car revving to life.

Roxas moved from the kitchen to the dining room and peered out of the front windows of their little house that offered a clear view of the road outside. He watched silently as Sora closed the garage door, reversed down the driveway and was gone.

Well…that had gone _perfectly_.

It seemed every morning lately, Sora was leaving for work earlier and earlier. Sometimes he was even gone by the time Roxas woke up and got out of bed. Left frustrated inside, Roxas sighed heavily and slid a hand down the side of his face. It didn't look like he was getting a lift to work this morning either…

"…Fuck."

-0-

Roxas worked late again, and then _fantastically_ missed his bus home, so now here he was walking up the driveway to his house, tired and grumpy just after 8 o'clock at night. He didn't really believe he'd gotten much work done today anyway, Sora's irrational behaviour still weighing heavily on his mind. Mercifully his left arm was the one that had broken, so he'd still been able to write and type, but his fingers and hand ached all the same. Maybe it really was too soon to be back at work…even if it had been a while now since the accident.

He wondered if it was worth trying again with Sora tonight. Surely something had to _give,_ and soon. They had been dating for three years, going on four now, and Roxas had always believed that their relationship was stronger than this. They had had fights about his questionable driving skills before, but in all honesty, he had never realised that it had bothered Sora _this_ much.

Completely lost in his thoughts, he was staring blankly down at the textured pattern of the driveway when the sound of the front door opening and closing in front of him made him look up in surprise. Riku sailed past him, the man's aquamarine eyes sparing him a single, fleeting glance; a troubled expression marring his features as he hurried back down the driveway Roxas had just wandered up. Without so much as a greeting thrown Roxas' way, Riku pressed his keyless entry and unlocked his car that was parked out on the kerb. He was already moving around to the driver's side.

"What…what the _hell?_ " Roxas angrily began, pausing in his spot still on the driveway. He raised his arms questioningly at the Riku's retreating form. Riku was steadfastly ignoring him as he stepped into his car, slammed the door and started the ignition. Roxas almost started heading back down towards him when Riku smoothly kicked the car into gear and drove off down the street. Roxas lowered his arms and stared in disbelief after him. Riku was Sora's best friend – had been ever since they were kids, but Roxas had never trusted him. He had always wondered if the pompous, arrogant git had always been after something more with _his boyfriend._

His jealousy spiking, Roxas turned back towards the house and let himself in, slamming the door closed for good measure. Sora _always_ let him know when Riku was going to be over. They avoided each other like the plague, so what the _fuck_ was going on here? Three weeks of the cold shoulder, silent treatment, and now Riku was circling overhead like a vulture on carrion. Maybe he was wrong in thinking that this was all about him crashing his car and nearly killing them – maybe…Sora was leaving him for Riku!

"Sora?" He called, heading further into the house. Hardly any of the lights were on inside as he made his way into the kitchen. There were a number of dirty dishes sitting in the sink, two sets of cutlery and plates stacked neatly on the side. Roxas' eyes narrowed. He hadn't received so much as a _text_ from Sora all day, only to come home to find he had enjoyed a cosy dinner without him – with bloody _Riku_ , no less! His anger was giving way to mild panic as he headed towards their bedroom. He sighed heavily, feeling somewhat relieved at finding the bed was still made. It wasn't that he would _ever_ think Sora would cheat on him, but right now, with the way things had been so horrible between them, his nerves were constantly on edge.

The muted sounds of the en suite shower running caught his attention. He moved over towards the closed door.

"Sora?" Hesitantly he tried turning the handle, but predictably the door was locked. Sighing again, Roxas leaned forward and rested his head against the cool wooden door, his hands pressed flat against it. "Come on, Sor! I just wanna talk!"

It was completely silent inside the bathroom beyond; Roxas couldn't hear Sora moving around at all. It was almost like he was just standing in there, waiting for Roxas to leave.

His temper flaring anew, Roxas slammed his fist into the door and walked back out into the bedroom. " _Fine_ , damn it! See if I care!"

There was a startled clatter from beyond the door and then a few muffled swear words, but Roxas had stopped caring. He threw off his suit coat and shirt, kicked off his shoes and wreathed his pants down his legs before falling face first into his bed. He was so bloody tired of this and his arm was near _killing_ him! If Sora wanted to act like a petulant child and be all buddy-buddy with Riku behind his back, then _fine –_ why should he care when it was obvious Sora didn't? Everything was just _fan-_ fucking- _tastic._ Roxas rolled onto his side, and angrily punched at his pillow, trying to force some softness into it. He settled and all at once felt like a deflated balloon.

Three years of so many happy memories together…so much laughter…so much _love -_ all gurgling down the drain. How long had Sora been thinking they were no good anymore? How long had Riku been swimming around like a shark?

He scrunched his hands hard over his eyes. Damn it, he thought everything between them had been perfect! If only he'd been paying more attention!

…If only he hadn't crashed his car…

-0-

In the morning Sora was already gone. He'd spent an unbelievably long time in the shower last night, so long in fact, Roxas was sure the water would have run cold. He thought he'd heard crying at one point, but in his half-awake state he hadn't been sure.

Roxas moved through the quiet house, intent on grabbing a glass of water and some pain killers from the kitchen for his relentlessly aching arm, when something gave him reason to pause. He changed direction and headed towards the entryway to the house, where there was a long thin console table. It was one of the first things they had bought together when they had decided to buy the house and make it their home. Right now it was covered in old newspapers, a gardening magazine, a few pens and some random sets of house keys. Amongst the clutter was a single, large photo frame. It had been turned downwards to lie flat, its picture hidden from sight.

Growling low in his throat, Roxas lifted the frame so that the picture was standing upright again. He looked down at it, his heart jolting in his chest painfully. It was one of his most favourite photos of them together. They had gone to Disneyland for their third year anniversary. They stood holding each other tight, Roxas kissing Sora's cheek, while he grinned over at the camera, his face flushed and his eyes warm. Mickey Mouse stood behind them, two large, white mitted hands resting on their shoulders.

Roxas shuddered in a breath and fought the sting of tears at the corners of his eyes. He wouldn't give up. No matter what it took, he was determined in letting Sora know how much he loved him. Riku could kiss his arse.

There was still hope for them yet.

-0-

Having spent all day formulating a new plan, Roxas came home in the evening around seven, defiantly determined to corner Sora once and for all, and have this whole mess sorted out. It had gone on too long, and it was about time Sora listened to him.

He stepped into the entryway, Sora's name fading on his lips when he heard quiet murmuring coming from the living room. Moving quietly, he got as close as he dared before pressing himself up against the wall in the adjacent formal dining room; listening intently. It sounded like Sora was talking on the phone.

"I…I know…" he was saying, his weariness evident in his tone, "It's just so hard for me right now…I don't know what to do anymore." Roxas stilled, his eyes narrowing. Sora was talking about _them…_

There was silence as the person on the other end of the line answered, but then Sora was replying, "My parents? No, I haven't even told them…yeah…they – " He choked sharply, "They want me to pull the plug and I…I just –!" _What the hell,_ Roxas thought. Sora's parents had always liked him! Why would they want Sora to break up with him?

"Riku, you know that's not fair! It's been three weeks and I'm barely keeping it together as is. How am I supposed to –?"

There was another long silence and Roxas silently fumed. Of course it was Riku…that _bastard_. Trying to jump in Roxas' grave already and they weren't even broken up yet!

"But Riku…" Sora was all but whispering now, his voice thick with unshed tears, "...the picture in the hallway…this morning I swear I turned it face down and then…when I got home…" Roxas' heart broke a little bit more as Sora started to cry. " _Oh God,_ Riku – I can't _be_ here anymore. Can I come stay with you?"

Roxas blinked then started in surprise as he felt the cool wetness slipping down his cheeks. He kept listening in numb silence as Sora ended his call to Riku and quietly left the living room. Roxas still hadn't moved ten minutes later; Sora now shuffling around in their bedroom, most likely packing himself an overnight bag. When he finally heard Sora start his car and the electronic rattle of the garage door closing – that was when Roxas truly lost it. He slid slowly down the wall, his tears falling fast as he buried his face in his hands.

-0-

The sky above was reflecting Roxas' mood perfectly – overcast and gloomy as he made his way along the sidewalk, his hands buried deep within his pockets. He was on his half-hour lunch break, but ever since the events of last night he couldn't even bear the thought of eating. His stomach was flip-flopping inside of him anxiously and his head felt twisted up in knots.

After his sudden, abrupt departure the night previous, Sora hadn't bothered coming home this morning either; Roxas assuming he'd spent the night with Riku and then gone straight to work. Roxas had been tempted to ditch his own work completely, grab a taxi and head over to Riku's, but he'd managed to talk himself out of it, recognising it for the bad idea it was. He'd squared off with Riku in the past and it always just caused more problems. Sora would have none of it. No, Sora would be sure to come home tonight, and _this time,_ Roxas was not letting him go so easily.

Starting to make his way back to his office building, Roxas was standing at a set of traffic lights, waiting impatiently for the crossing light to flicker green when the breath suddenly caught in his throat. Cars were sailing past him endlessly but one, painfully familiar vehicle stood out like a sore thumb. He watched in muted disbelief as Sora drove past him, his attention solely focussed on the traffic already ahead of him.

"No way…" Roxas murmured, already shuffling away from the kerb to give chase. His eyes firmly glued to the back of Sora's car, Roxas ran like death itself was after him, weaving and ducking around other people on the sidewalk. Sora was supposed to be halfway across town, standing in front of a whiteboard teaching a class full of eight year olds, so where the hell was he going?

Just when he thought he couldn't run anymore, Sora's light blue Kia slipping almost out of sight, he suddenly turned and slowed, before pulling into a large undercover carpark. Roxas stopped to catch his breath, his hands braced on his knees as he read a directory sign nearby.

 **Twilight Town Base Hospital – Parking Level 1C**

Roxas immediately felt uneasy, a strange feeling tingling up his spine. Why would Sora come here? As far as he knew, they didn't know anyone that was in hospital right now…

Annoyed and a little bit worried that he'd managed to lose him, Roxas made his way inside the main building. The automatic glass doors were already slid open as he approached, a constant stream of people wandering in and out before him.

Looking hopelessly around the crowded interior of the waiting room, Roxas began making his way over towards the reception desk before he suddenly caught a glimpse of spiky chocolate hair disappearing down a corridor off to his right. Nearly tripping over his own feet, Roxas bolted after Sora, just managing to squeeze his way onto the same crowded elevator.

The elevator was one of the big ones – designed to fit two wheeled stretchers side by side, and it was absolutely full to the brim with people. Roxas couldn't believe the sheer volume of noise as he craned his neck over a tall woman's shoulder, making sure he could just keep Sora in his field of vision. There was a small part of himself that was wondering what the hell he was doing, following Sora here and quite blatantly invading his privacy, but the rest of him was saying he _had_ to know! Somehow, he just knew that Sora's presence here had a lot to do with his out of character behaviour of late, and maybe it was something they could work through together…

The elevator doors opened at every floor on the way up, and Roxas' impatience flared. Eventually there was yet another ding and a cool female voice was listing what each unit was accommodated on floor five, when Roxas noticed Sora finally move towards the opening doors. Sora stepped out into the hallway, along with several other occupants of the lift and Roxas silently trailed after, keeping a safe distance behind as his curiosity fairly nearly ate him alive. A few more twists and turns, and long, long corridors, and then Sora was entering a ward that was almost completely silent. A sign above two latched, swinging doors read _Intensive Care Unit,_ and Roxas felt that nervous tingle up his spine again, his broken arm throbbing uncomfortably.

Sora walked further into the ICU, but didn't pause in front of the nurse' station where Roxas thought he might need to ask for directions. It finally dawned on him, that it was obvious Sora had been here several times before, as he confidently strode past closed door after closed door, always looking straight ahead. He finally came to stop in front of 'Room B _-13'._ As Roxas watched, Sora turned the door handle without knocking and promptly disappeared inside.

His heart pounding in his chest, Roxas stood for a moment longer before following. He was filled with this unshakeable feeling of dread as he stood in front of the open doorway of the room Sora had gone into, and nervously peered inside.

Sora was sitting beside a lone hospital bed, his back turned towards Roxas as he held the hand of the bed's occupant tight within the two of his own. Roxas just stood there, his hands hanging limp at his sides and all he could do was _stare._

There in the bed, with wires and cords, and all manner of intravenous liquids being administered, and high-tech medical instruments whirring and beeping – lying pale and still against the pristine white of the hospital sheets was…

Himself.

"Hey, Rox," Sora murmured, his thumbs rubbing soothingly over the pale skin of Roxas' hand. "I know I'm a bit earlier today, but…" he shook his head. "I couldn't go in to work, and I can't stay in the house anymore either…it…it feels weird in there, and it's too quiet. I know you hate him, but I'm staying at Riku's now, just until you wake up."

Sora paused, bowing his head. "You gotta wake up, Rox. They're talking about letting you go – and _I know_ it's been three weeks, but I just can't do this without you…I can't let you go, so _please,_ please _wake up!"_

Roxas' mind was racing as he stumbled slowly backwards until his shoulders made contact with the wall behind him. He pressed his hands into the cool, smooth surface trying to ground himself, his eyes never once leaving the surreal reality before him.

Now that he thought back on it…this whole time since the accident, he couldn't once remember actually going to work. He couldn't really remember waking up from the car crash either! He'd just…sort of 'come to' one day at home, and Sora had been ignoring him, and he hadn't even _touched Sora_ once, and his _arm_ had really hurt because it had broken in the crash – and _oh, God!_ His arm! With a dawning sense of horror, Roxas looked down at his left arm and saw that the cast his mind had put there was gone – had never existed in the first place. He lifted his aching arm and stared wild-eyed at the purplish-black discoloration of the skin along his forearm. His fingers were swollen and throbbing.

He'd been walking around for _three weeks_ believing he had walked away from that car crash still whole – had gone on existing not even knowing that anything was different, when really – he'd been torn from his body, just like a...

Sora shivered in his chair beside Roxas' bed and hunched in on himself, trying to ward off the cold he was feeling. "God, why is it so damn _cold_ in here?"

Roxas moved closer to the bed, now realising Sora wouldn't be able to see him – had never been able to see him this entire time. For three weeks he'd thought the brunet was angry at him, was breaking his heart and leaving him for Riku, but now he understood he'd gotten it all so completely wrong.

He could see Sora's eyes now and they were so sad, his gaze never leaving Roxas' pale face. "…I've been feeling cold a lot lately, Rox…are you…are you following me around?" His beautiful sky-blue eyes filled with tears as Roxas watched on helplessly.

"…Are you already gone?"

Sora dissolved into sobs, bowing his head against the side of Roxas' prone form. Standing off to the side, his heart silently breaking, Roxas wondered if Sora had been coming here to visit him every day, never knowing that Roxas had been at home waiting for him, trying in vain to bridge the non-existent gap that had opened between them.

Roxas moved around to the other side of his bed and looked down at himself. The empty shell of his body was deathly still; a handful of small nicks and cuts marring his face and neck. His left arm was indeed set in a cast and he idly found himself wondering why his ethereal form had also projected the real injury. This whole situation was absurd, so really, it should have been the least of his worries right now.

He reached out a hand and hesitated. Could it really be that simple? Not waiting another second longer, Roxas placed his hand against the cheek of his still form and immediately felt this overwhelming warmth rushing through his senses. He didn't fight it – just closed his eyes and breathed as he felt himself flowing forward and restabilising into something that felt more solid and _real_. His skin tingled pleasantly and his eyelids fluttered as he shifted and came back to himself, now lying on the bed, Sora still sobbing into his side.

" _S…Sora_." He croaked, his voice rough from disuse, his left arm in the cast moving restlessly. It didn't hurt at all anymore. He shifted his legs and pulled at the sheets to loosen them. They were only constricting him now, after lying still for so long.

Sora gasped and looked up, his eyes finding Roxas' bleary gaze, the tears instantly freezing on his cheeks.

" _Oh, My God…"_

Roxas smiled and reached forward, Sora effortlessly falling into his arms. "Oh God, Roxas! I'm never letting you drive again!"

His arms felt like lead weights and he was so unbelievably tired, but he didn't care. He held Sora to him like he never wanted to let go. He was finally right where he was supposed to be, with the man he loved, safe within his arms.

"I'm sorry, Sor. I'll never scare you like that again."


End file.
